All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
