she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize