I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize