can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
