i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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