No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
