He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
