On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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