trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
