you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
