Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
