We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
