He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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