Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize