She is in my trunk
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Randomize
