college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
