turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
