Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize