it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
