My hand turned me down
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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