i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
