yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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