Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
