I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
