What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
