i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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