call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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