Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
