He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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