If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
sarcasm needs its own font
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
