its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
