Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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