Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
