wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
