ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
