new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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