Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I didn't notice because vodka
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize