I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
What drink are we having for lunch?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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