OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
