he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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