I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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