No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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