Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
