dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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