i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize