at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
