when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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