I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
