She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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