we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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