Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
