i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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