When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Randomize
