..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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