just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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