Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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