singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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