I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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