I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
