watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
