Just mADE A PArabola og urine
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize