dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
